No, I am not single.
But I am not in a lets-get-married-and-have-babies kind of relationship.
In fact, that kind of relationship turns my stomach.
Knots and Nausea.
I don’t DISAGREE with marriage. or Commitment. I just know it is not for me.
I am HAPPY for my friends and family who choose to follow that path, as long as they are happy with it.
My reasoning for this is simple, I am only just beginning to learn who I am, I don’t want to lose sight of that, or change what is destined for me.
I don’t come from a broken home. My parents have been in a loving, stable marriage for 26 years. In fact, they got married for the second time. Yesterday.
I know alot of people, gals and guys, who are in the love with the idea of love, marriage and the baby carriage. I sort of envy them because they want the social “norm”. I don’t find anything comforting about needing a man, or a ring, or a piece of paper to deem myself happy. In fact, I am usually happiest when single.
I find coupledom very suffocating. I know I am a hard person to live with, somedays I want to run away from myself. I am moody, and dark and very often sleep deprived. Caffiene helps.
I don’t wish myself on anybody. I would hate to be with someone like myself. The guy I am seeing is a total sweetheart. He says and does all the right things and I feel like a heartless bitch most of the time because I am not on that level. He deserves someone who wants the same things as him, but strangely enough… he wants me. . . . “Just as I am”.
Personally, I choose Vodka. And Chaka Khan
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